Why I Became a Coach

I knew I wanted to be a doctor from the age of 8. I remember visiting my mother in the hospital after she had her appendix out and feeling like I had just found the most exciting place ever. At the time it was likely the novelty of a bed that went up and down, the funny looking “incentive spirometer” that looked like a toy with its little ball and tube. But the true feeling was more of wonder at the ability of this magical place to accomplish healing. All the people bustling about with purpose in their uniforms and white coats looking important. I knew that this was the place I belonged. I wanted to be one of those purposeful people and help people who were ill.

My mother was often sick during my early childhood. She has lupus and was in and out of the doctor’s office or hospital a fair bit. At the age of three I watched her live through a very difficult pregnancy with my younger brother. When I was older, I heard many of the stories of the struggles she had with the medical world, being talked down to, disrespected and even mistreated. I wanted to be someone who would help someone like my mother- not only help medically but listen to them and treat them with the respect and care they are due as fellow humans.

From the beginning I wanted to let my patients know they were seen. In the world of women’s health there are so many things we can glean from good listening. The more I listened, the more I heard how anxious and stressed many of my patients were. And I knew this was affecting their health and their pregnancies. Medical training also was stressful for me, and I knew it was affecting my health, but it took me having my own child to really figure out how to deal with my own stress and anxiety as a daily practice rather than emergently as needed.

After having my son, I started my own coaching journey and learned to examine my thoughts, process my emotions and be a good friend to myself. I learned to calm my inner critic, treat myself with kindness and understand that if I didn’t treat myself this way, I could not show up for the people in my life or my patients in the way I really wanted to. I wanted this for my patients too!

In 2019 I attended the Fetal Brain Symposium in DC- where the focus was on maternal mental health and how this can affect fetal brain development. Untreated mental health conditions and stress can lead to behavioral, health and neurodevelopment problems for the children born to these mothers, and it also affected their ability for the mother to bond with their child. Of all the treatment studied, mindfulness seemed to have some benefit in these scenarios. I knew I could help my patients in ways I never learned in medical training, so I signed up for coach certification. I became a coach myself and opened my pregnancy coaching business. The goal was to help pregnant women find peace and empowerment in pregnancy. I have been blessed with the chance to do this for a few clients already and I can see the impact it has had in their lives.

In my doctor role I also spent time listening and using some coaching techniques to help my patients. I learned that listening and validating my patient’s or client’s experiences helped them more than almost anything else I could offer.

Unfortunately, the way corporate medicine is set up there is not much incentive or support to make the time for this kind of listening or care. I quit my full-time job this summer and am now focusing more on coaching- where I can spend the time listening and validating as well as helping my clients manage their emotions, examine their beliefs and learn just how strong and capable they are. This work perfectly complements the medical work I am also doing part time- I still love reading ultrasound and providing my patients with the information and guidance they desire to have a calm and healthy pregnancy.